Jackfic Archive Story


Crosswired: Valentine's Day

by Twitchy and the Nut - otherwise known as Flatkatsi and Gumnut

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).

He didn't even jump any more. The extraordinary had become commonplace.

Major General Jack O'Neill, head of Homeworld Security, blinked twice to clear the fuzz caused by the iridescent beam of light, and smiled, putting down his pen.

"Hi there, buddy. What can I do you for on this fine morning?"

Supreme Commander Thor of the Asgard curled his toes into the thick pile of the carpet in the opulently furnished office as if relishing the sensation and Jack smiled at little at the sight. The sudden urge to kick off his shiny black shoes and squige his toes through the plush floor covering was almost too hard to resist.

But to get the full enjoyment he'd have to take his socks off as well and that was bound to be the exact time when the President or one of the Joint Chiefs would pop their head in to say hi. And although he quite liked being considered a little eccentric here in DC, he didn't want his eccentric ass retired after only a few months in the job.

"There are some minor details that require discussion before the Phifter Treaty can be signed. Is this a convenient time, O'Neill?"

"Of course." The general rose, coming around the large desk and gesturing to the small sitting area set up near the window. He'd had a special chair made for the Asgard for just this kind of drop in visit. "Make yourself comfortable while I organise a coffee for myself and tell my secretary to hold any calls."


O'Neill carefully pressed the tiny button on the Asgard recording device and nodded, smiling in satisfaction as he sat back in the soft lounge chair.

"Great, that's organised. Now we just need to make sure the Phifterians have no further concerns and we're good to go."

"It is a most satisfactory result." The Asgard wiped his mouth on the pale blue napkin and placed it back on the matching blue rimmed fine bone china plate. "And the refreshments were very welcome. Far better that those offered at the SGC."

"Well, this is the Pentagon, you know. We know how to spend the big bucks." Jack took a last bite of mouth watering chocolate cake and chewed slowly, savouring the rich flavour. "Beats the SGC cafeteria hands down - despite the severe lack of red jello." He frowned a little as he thought of one of the other differences to the SGC - here, he tended to eat alone, solitary in his office, isolated by rank and position from those around him. He threw off the surprisingly melancholy thoughts and continued, waving his hand at the remains of meal. "You're welcome to drop in any time. It was good to have company."

"Thank you, O'Neill." Thor nodded. "I am glad I had the opportunity to partake of nourishment with you before meeting with General Landry."

The general's hand paused in the act of picking up his cup. "You're going there now?"

"I am."

He hesitated a moment. He had been kicking himself all day for forgetting the date, but this was an opportunity he couldn't ignore.

"Cool. Listen, buddy, would you do me a favour?"

Thor nodded again. "If I am able, O'Neill, I would be happy to oblige."

"Excellent! Just wait there a second." Jack leapt up and headed for the door, pausing to look back. "You promise not to disappear on me while I'm gone?"

"I shall remain here."


O'Neill pulled open the office door and hurried out, startling his bevy of assistants and secretaries into sudden silence. He looked around, his eyes lighting on an elaborate floral arrangement on the reception desk.

"Perfect!" It only took a few strides to reach and a few moments to extract one faultless long stemmed red rose from the middle of the bunch. He was back inside his office before his staff had time to react.

The Asgard was still seated where Jack had left him, so he approached, holding out the flower, its stem dripping water onto the carpet.

"Could you give this to Colonel Carter? Just don't tell her who it's from, okay?"

Thor cocked his head to one side and looked up at the rose being offered him. "I do not understand."

"Today is Valentine's Day. It's a special day where we give. . ." Um, how did he explain this to an alien who hadn't had sex for over a thousand years? "... gifts to ... ah ... she can't know this is from me ..." He scrubbed a hand through his hair, thrusting the flower at the Asgard with the other. "Please give this to Carter, okay?"

Thor held the stem gingerly between two short, spindly fingers and eyed the bloom.

"Very well, O'Neill."

And disappeared in his trademark flash of white light.

O'Neill blinked, sneezed, and vaguely wondered if Asgard suffered from hay fever.


Sam Carter was having one of those days. It started out with a computer glitch that appeared simple at first, but once explored, readily made itself clear in its plan to take out the entire morning and the majority of her patience.

Siler hadn't helped. The engineer had managed to tangle up and confuse several optical cables, messing up gate calibration and a week's worth of testing data. The eyebrow he was missing due to the resultant spray of sparks appropriately demonstrated the kind of injury she felt like giving him.

In a totally unofficer-like capacity. After all, the entire reason the man had two eyebrows was so she could rip the other one off.

A sigh.

She knew it wasn't really his fault. She was just frustrated. She idly wondered how much of a dent would result if she supplied the majority of her boot's capacity for injury to the mainframe computer casing. The equation bounced around her brain for a moment or two, the answer coming to the fore with little effort.

More work for Sam Carter.

Restraint was required.


With another sigh that no one was around to hear, she buried her head once again in the depths of the huge computer casing, attempting to sort the optical cables into a more appropriate arrangement for efficient electronic communication between this system and the gate system.

The quiet in her lab didn't help her concentration.

How long had it been?

How long since that quiet had been shattered by a much tolerated, but much enjoyed interruption?

How long since the general had left the base and moved to DC?

The wire she was holding sparked, fizzled and promptly burnt her fingers. "Oh, for crying out loud! Damnit!"

She flung herself backwards and in a fit of absolute fury, did sink her boot into the base of the computer casing.

Her toes hurt.

Today just sucked.

"Colonel Carter?"

The quiet voice from behind, startled her and she spun.

Thor stood in the doorway, his big, black eyes peering up at her in concern.

"Thor!" She backed up, a little beyond mortified at the alien having seen her in her little tantrum. She expected Landry to appear behind him, but after one speechless stunned moment, nothing happened.

And Thor was still staring at her. Still concerned.

"Commander, what can I do for you?"

"Are you well, Colonel?"

"Oh, uh, I'm fine. Just been one of those days, I guess."

"One of which days?" Big, black curious eyes stared up at her.

"Uh, never mind. Nothing worth worrying about." Uh... "So what brings you here?" That's right, make small talk. Move away from the embarrassment and the hand that is currently bleeding all over computer casing. Her eyes widened - when had she done that? "Damn." She hurried over to the sink and her first aid kit, those eyes following her every move.

"Are you well, Colonel?" She shot a glance over her shoulder and found the concern had turned to a worried frown.

Hadn't he just asked her that question? Hadn't she just answered it?

But then had she lied?

"I'm sorry, Commander." She wrapped her hand in a towel. "I've been recalibrating one of our main testing systems and it hasn't been going very well. I..." She fingered some sticking plaster between her mouth and one hand, awkwardly attempting to pull off its adhesive shield.

A small hand reached up and took it from her fingers. "Colonel Carter, I do believe it is time for a brief recess. You require a modicum of rest and relaxation." The little alien took her injured hand gently in his and, removing the towel, secured the bandage across her bleeding fingers.

She stared at him. "Thank you."

"You are welcome." He looked around the room, at times having to raise himself to see over the counter and equipment. "Do you have any refreshments here?"

"We could visit the cafeteria?"

"No. I believe we need some privacy."

She blinked. "Okay. I can grab a coffee and be back in just a moment..."

Thor tilted his head and a steaming hot cup of coffee appeared in one hand. He held it out to her.

She blinked again, taking it a little tentatively. "Thank you."

Thor stepped back and eyeing the various stools and chairs in the room, most of which were taller than he, appeared to decide to stand. A moment and a flicker of white light later, he had a small bowl of red jello in his hands.

That took her by surprise, but then the colour of the jello gave everything away. Thor had obviously been spending far too much time with General O'Neill.

That pang of loss struck her again. Damnit, she was being a child. Things were the way they were for a reason.

And Thor had a red jello moustache.

She blinked in order to swallow her immediate reaction to that and a quick sip of her very hot coffee started her coughing.

Thor tilted his head up at her again.

She held out a hand. "I'm fine. I'm fine." She spluttered and, after a pause, continued, "How about you?"

"I am well, Colonel." The jello was all but gone and Thor was scraping the bowl clean with his plastic spoon. "I have come here to give you something." He wiped a finger across his mouth, clearing away a good percentage of the vagrant jello, yet somehow managing to miss a glob to the right of his top lip.

"To give me something?"

"I do believe it is the tradition of this day."

This day ... this day ... what was the d-? Her eyes widened. Oh.

Valentine's Day.

Thor placed his empty bowl on the counter beside his head and held out his hand. A flicker of light and a long stemmed red rose almost a third his height appeared in his hand.

Oh. My. God.

He held it out to her.

Stunned speechless, she took it.

"I hope things improve, Colonel Carter." Was that a smile? Thor dipped his head slightly and his flash of light took him.

She stared at the rose.

She blinked.

What the hell was she supposed to do now?


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