Crosswired: The Morning After
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Standing at the podium, Daniel looked out at the sea of faces, all staring back at him with
expressions of shock mingled with admiration, and in some cases, clear envy.
"As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, the history of this planet will need to be rewritten in light of
the evidence I have just presented." He nodded towards the Goa'uld standing beside him and
received a slow, stately bow in return, Ra's impressive head dress dipping in time with his
Thunderous applause erupted as the audience stood as one.
"Pens down. The exam is finished."
No! He hadn't completed the last question. He needed more time.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Daniel snaked out a hand from under the blankets and grabbed the phone, nearly pulling it off the
Lifting his head slightly, Daniel peered with fuzzy eyes at the clock.
"It's 7am, Jack. Why are you calling me at 7am?"
"Aren't you up yet? I thought you must be - it took you long enough to answer the phone."
He dropped his head back down on to the pillow, wishing that, just for once, Jack wouldn't be so
damned cheerful so early in the day. He was definitely a morning person - the complete opposite to
Daniel's own preferred lifestyle. He squashed down a groan of frustration, and instead offered an
explanation. "I didn't get to bed until 2am last night. Anyway, what do you want? Haven't you got
Teal'c there to annoy?"
There was silence on the other end of the line and Daniel waited, shutting his eyes. He was just
beginning to drift back to sleep when the sound of Jack clearing his throat startled him into listening
"Ah ... no. He isn't here anymore. That's sort of what I called you about." The cheerfulness was
"What do you mean he isn't there? I thought he was staying the whole weekend." Daniel thought for
a moment, his mind scrolling through possible scenarios. "Have you had an argument?"
Jack leaned back on his couch, resisting the sudden urge to end the call. This wasn't the best idea he
had had all day, or all week even. It was right up there with inviting Teal'c to the cabin in the first
This talking thing sure was overrated.
"No, we didn't have an argument." He could hear the defensive tone in his own voice and knew
Daniel would pick up on it without any problem, so he added, as an afterthought, "At least I don't
think we did."
"You don't think you did? How can you not know if you had an argument?"
Jack could think of plenty of times during his marriage that he hadn't realised he'd had an argument
with his wife until well after the fact, usually when she brought it up during another argument, but
he decided not to mention that.
Stick to the facts.
The trouble was, he didn't actually know what the facts were.
"We were fishing, and - hey, guess what! I caught a fish, a walleye. It was a beauty - at least ten
pounds. I threw it back of course, and wouldn't you credit it - I didn't have a camera."
"That's great, Jack, really." Daniel's voice cut into his now quite pleasant thoughts. "But that doesn't
explain where Teal'c is."
Might as well just come out with it.
"He left. Last night. Right after I caught the fish." A sudden thought occurred to him. "Maybe he
doesn't like fish?"
"I doubt that's why he left. Didn't he say anything?"
"No, he just got me to drive him to the nearest airport."
"Doesn't this strike you as extremely odd?"
Jack took a deep breath and tried to keep his exasperation out of his voice. "Why do you think I'm
calling you, Daniel?"
There was another pause and Jack could hear the sound of water running.
"What are you doing?"
"It's too damn early for me to think straight. I'm making myself a coffee."
"Ah . . . okay." Twisting, Jack swung his legs up onto the couch, making himself more comfortable,
and waited, listening to the unmistakable noises of someone moving about in their kitchen. Maybe
he should have made himself another cup.
"I'm back. Now, how about you tell me exactly what happened."
"I already have. We fished, we talked, I caught a fish, Teal'c left. That's it."
"What did you talk about?"
It had been hard enough discussing his problem with Thor with Teal'c. He wasn't going to make that
"Nothing much. Just guy stuff - you know."
"Such as? He doesn't follow hockey, and refuses to watch any more episodes of the Simpsons."
"Hey, I'm not that shallow. I do have other interests." Jack thought rapidly. "Astronomy."
"You talked about the stars?" Daniel didn't even try to hide his scepticism.
Jack paused as the conversation began to edge into dangerous territory. "No, we talked about guy
stuff - you know - 'stuff'."
"You talked to Teal'c about sex?"
"No!" He snapped out the word, and hurried to explain. "Not sex, I don't have a problem there - not
at all." He thumped his head back on the arm of the couch. What had possessed him to say that and
how in god's name had they even managed to get on to this topic of conversation?
"Can you just tell me what you talked about? Maybe something you said upset him and I can't give
you advice if I don't know what it was."
Daniel was getting snippy.
"We sort of talked about sexual attraction, but not sex ... no."
"Attraction? You mean relationships?"
"No, not really." He decided to throw out a crumb. "Sort of, in a very oblique way."
Daniel's tone changed suddenly, as if he had just decided to take the conversation seriously. "That
could be it. Sam came over last night to ask my advice."
"Advice? What about?"
"Why would Carter be asking you for advice about Teal'c?"
"Well, don't tell her I said anything, but Teal'c seems to want their relationship to change to be more
than just friends."
Jack found himself echoing Daniel's last words as he tried to follow what the other man was saying.
"More than just friends?"
"Yes. She's not sure what to do. She said she respects him ..."
"He's her teammate."
"But he isn't military. It isn't like there's frat regulations."
"Like hell there isn't!" Jack knew he was raising his voice but he didn't care. "He's her teammate.
And anyway, he can't ... he shouldn't ... he ... she wouldn't ..." He ground to a stop, the words
stuck in his throat.
"What!" Now that was a shout, it even hurt his own ears.
"Are you okay?"
Okay? Of course he wasn't okay! What was the matter with everyone these days? The world had
gone crazy and decided to take Jack O'Neill along with it to the loony bin.
"I'm just fine, Daniel." He snarled, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem upset."
"Yeah, well, I'm just tired, that's all. Look, thanks, but I have to go, bye."
He ended the call, ignoring the protests of his friend.
Sitting, staring blankly at the wall in front of him, all he could think of were three words, repeated
over and over in his head.
Carter and Teal'c.
Carter and Teal'c.
Carter and Teal'c.
It was fate.
If she steamed up the bathroom, filled the bath with bubbles and slipped into its warm embrace the
world would choose to intervene.
In some cases it was a relative or friend calling, in others it was Armageddon, but either way both
were interruptions of steam, soapsuds and what little relaxation she allowed herself.
This time it was the doorbell.
At first she was determined not to answer it. This was her time and it was probably only door spam
anyway. But whoever it was, they were damned determined. It was the fifth ring that broke her.
She stumbled resignedly out of the water, hastily wrapped herself in bathrobe, and left a trail of wet
footprints the length of her house. If she opened the door abruptly and with a little more force than
necessary, she certainly had the excuse. The right to glare wasn't denied her either.
What she didn't expect was the man standing on her doorstep.
"Colonel Carter." The Jaffa dipped his head slightly.
She looked around for the rest of the team, but there was no sign of Daniel or Colonel Mitchell.
"Aren't you supposed to be with General O'Neill?"
"Yes." And now he was staring at her. "Are you well?"
"I'm fine." She frowned up at him. "Why are you here?"
"I find myself in need of your advice." He was frowning.
"Come in." She ushered him in and shut the door behind her. "Was the General called away?"
"No." He stopped in the middle of her kitchen and clasped his hands behind his back.
There was definitely something wrong. It was subtle. It always was with Teal'c, but she'd learnt to
read him over the years, so he might as well have been yelling at her. "Would you like something
"No, thank you."
A long moment.
"You said you needed my advice?" It was a not so subtle prompt.
She waited. "And?"
"I have some concerns regarding General O'Neill."
Concerns? Something stirred in her stomach and she was immediately alert and a little worried.
"I believe he is harbouring some affection for me."
Blink. Uh... "Yes, he does. He cares deeply for all of us. You know that." It was mostly unspoken,
but it was there. She frowned at him, a little confused.
Teal'c shifted his position, his back straight enough to bust a muscle. "I have been aware.
However, I believe his affection is no longer simply platonic."
It took her a moment to process that statement, and once she had it took her another to get over the
brain freeze that resulted. Eventually she managed to stutter out, "You think that General O'Neill
is ... interested ... in you ... romantically?" If her eyes were a little wide, she really felt she had
Words were hard to form. "What has made you think that?" Not the General. No, he had to be
But the expression on Teal'c's face said otherwise.
"He told me himself." The Jaffa seemed to find the wall directly across from him rather interesting.
"He found the topic difficult."
"Did ... did you discuss it with him?"
"Shortly thereafter O'Neill caught a fish and the topic was diverted."
"He caught a fish?"
"In his pond?"
Now she was having trouble working out which was the most unlikely, the fish or the General's
attraction to Teal'c.
Both were previously on her impossible/never going to happen/you have got to be kidding me list.
"I believe he called it a 'walleye'."
"Huh?" And she found herself staring dumbly at her friend.
And then there was a great deal of silence.
After a while she moved herself to the nearest chair, feeling an urgent need to sit down. Teal'c
followed but said nothing.
There was more silence. And spinning thoughts.
Teal'c looked at her in his calm and solid way, but with an air of silent panic. "I am sure."
"What did you say?"
"I said nothing. The fish interrupted us most precipitously, and I left shortly thereafter."
She bit her lip. "What are you going to do?"
"I am unsure. I thought I might ask your advice."
Her advice? What the hell could she possibly tell him? Jack was interested in Teal'c?
Her brain hurt.
No, this couldn't possibly be right.
Something deep inside hurt at the thought. Perhaps she had always harboured the fantasy that she
and the General could one day find common ground that didn't involve rank or rules and
regulations. That perhaps despite everything, one day they might have a chance.
But if Jack was interested in Teal'c...
She stared at the floor in front of her. "I'm sorry, Teal'c, I don't know what to say."
Or what to think.
General Jack O'Neill was gay?
C'mon, that couldn't be right.