Name: I love when that happens….


Author: PhantomFicChic


Rating: PG-13


Category: Humour, well attempted any way.


Disclaimer: Don’t own em’ go figure.


Author’s Notes: I shouldn’t drink coffee, look what happens.


Jack’s line in Changeling started something in my warped brain.


I Love when that happens


“Ok, Major Carter, Dr. Fraiser the two of you will work together on this

one. Dismissed.” Hammond said

as the briefing finished. Both women glared at each other. Jack quickly

jumped out of his seat, following

Hammond into his office and closing the door behind him.


“Sir, might I make the small suggestion of NOT putting the two of them

together on this.” He said.


“Why not?” Hammond ask, slightly pissed at his 2IC barging into his office

and questioning his orders.


“Well you see sir, they um, they’ve kinda had a little disagreement.” Jack

tried to put it delicately.


“Over what?”


“Nobody knows.” He shrugged, obviously frustrated, “Sir.” He added as an

after thought.


“Jack, this is the Air Force, I can’t let their petty disagreements dictate

the way I run this base.” Hammond

was getting more and more pissed as this conversation went on.


“Sir, I know that, and I appreciate what you’re saying. But if you make them

work on this together, they

will kill each other.”


“Oh come on Jack, I think you’re exaggerating this a little.”


“Take a look.” Hammond looked out into the briefing room to see the two

women still sitting, locked in a

mutual death glare.


“Ok, point taken. There off this one, but just make sure you sort this out.

The last thing we need around

here is the two of them at each others throats.”


“Yes sir. Thank you sir. I’m gonna go now sir.” Jack said, leaving the

office and cautiously approaching

the two women. He laughed nervously. “So, um, change of plan ladies. You

won’t be working together on

this one.” They both immediately got up and left through separate exits.

Leaving Jack standing himself.

“No need to thank me.”


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“Daniel, Teal’c glad you’re both here.” Jack said as he breezed into

Daniel’s office. “We have got to sort

out this thing between Carter and the Doc before one of them gets killed.”

He said, his frustration once

again apparent.


“Yeah I know, what are they fighting about anyway?” Daniel asked,


“I don’t know!” Jack practically hit the roof. “That’s the most annoying

damn thing about it.”


“Well, I guess it’s not really important, we just have to get them to make

up.” He looked up to find Jack

staring at the wall vacantly. “Jack?”


“Wha- oh sorry. I, ugh, I was just thinking that maybe we should have them

fight it out, you know, maybe

in a mud pit, or even Jell-O?” He returned to his vacant state, picturing

the event. Daniel also sat for a

second, trying to picture it.


“They’d never go for that……….would they?” He asked hopefully.


“I believe a great profit could be made selling tickets to such an event.”

Teal’c stated.


“They’d definitely never go for it with people watching.” Jack said



“They’d never go for it period. We should just stop talking about this.”

Daniel said, shaking his head to try

to get his concentration back. A silence fell over the room as the three men

tried to think of a way to get the

two women to talk again.


“Uh, could Colonel O’Neill and the other members of SG-1 please report to

the control room. Like NOW!”

Came the voice of Sgt. Davis over the PA. Jack looked to Daniel and Teal’c

before heading to the control.


            When they arrived, they had to push they’re way through crowds of men, who

were fighting each

other to get to the windows.


“What the hell is going on here?” Jack demanded as he tried to get to the

front of the room. “Oh my….” He

said once he finally made it. On the floor of the gate room, Sam Carter and

Janet Fraiser were currently

rolling around the floor, pulling at each others hair, scratching each

other, ripping off bits of each others

clothing and just generally having a girly bitch fight. Beside Jack, an

Airman began crying happily.


“It’s just like I always dreamt.” He said through his tears. Daniel finally

made it to Jack’s side,


“Oh my god. Shouldn’t we try and stop them?” He asked.


“In a minute, maybe.” Jack said. The men were beginning to chant now. Half



“Carter, Carter, Carter etc” The other half,


“Doc, doc, doc, doc etc.” Jack joined in with the Carter chants, and Daniel

without realising joined in with

the Doc chants. The two women were still rolling around the floor, either

not noticing or not caring about

their audience.


“I have an idea.” Jack heard Davis say. A few minutes later, the sprinklers

in the gate room were set off,

soaking both women. The chanting grew louder and louder and louder until-



Jack sat up with a start. Dammit, he’d been having one of those dreams