Name: I love when that happens….
Category: Humour, well attempted any way.
Disclaimer: Don’t own em’ go figure.
Author’s Notes: I shouldn’t drink coffee, look what happens.
Jack’s line in Changeling started something in my warped brain.
I Love when that happens
“Ok, Major Carter, Dr. Fraiser the two of you will work together on this
as the briefing finished. Both women glared at each other. Jack quickly
jumped out of his seat, following
“Sir, might I make the small suggestion of NOT putting the two of them
together on this.” He said.
and questioning his orders.
“Well you see sir, they um, they’ve kinda had a little disagreement.” Jack
tried to put it delicately.
“Nobody knows.” He shrugged, obviously frustrated, “Sir.” He added as an
“Jack, this is the Air Force, I can’t let their petty disagreements dictate
the way I run this base.”
was getting more and more pissed as this conversation went on.
“Sir, I know that, and I appreciate what you’re saying. But if you make them
work on this together, they
will kill each other.”
“Oh come on Jack, I think you’re exaggerating this a little.”
“Take a look.”
women still sitting, locked in a
mutual death glare.
“Ok, point taken. There off this one, but just make sure you sort this out.
The last thing we need around
here is the two of them at each others throats.”
“Yes sir. Thank you sir. I’m gonna go now sir.” Jack said, leaving the
office and cautiously approaching
the two women. He laughed nervously. “So, um, change of plan ladies. You
won’t be working together on
this one.” They both immediately got up and left through separate exits.
Leaving Jack standing himself.
“No need to thank me.”
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“Daniel, Teal’c glad you’re both here.” Jack said as he breezed into
Daniel’s office. “We have got to sort
out this thing between Carter and the Doc before one of them gets killed.”
He said, his frustration once
“Yeah I know, what are they fighting about anyway?” Daniel asked,
“I don’t know!” Jack practically hit the roof. “That’s the most annoying
damn thing about it.”
“Well, I guess it’s not really important, we just have to get them to make
up.” He looked up to find Jack
staring at the wall vacantly. “Jack?”
“Wha- oh sorry. I, ugh, I was just thinking that maybe we should have them
fight it out, you know, maybe
in a mud pit, or even Jell-O?” He returned to his vacant state, picturing
the event. Daniel also sat for a
second, trying to picture it.
“They’d never go for that……….would they?” He asked hopefully.
“I believe a great profit could be made selling tickets to such an event.”
“They’d definitely never go for it with people watching.” Jack said
“They’d never go for it period. We should just stop talking about this.”
Daniel said, shaking his head to try
to get his concentration back. A silence fell over the room as the three men
tried to think of a way to get the
two women to talk again.
“Uh, could Colonel O’Neill and the other members of SG-1 please report to
the control room. Like NOW!”
Came the voice of Sgt. Davis over the PA. Jack looked to Daniel and Teal’c
before heading to the control.
When they arrived, they had to push they’re way through crowds of men, who
were fighting each
other to get to the windows.
“What the hell is going on here?” Jack demanded as he tried to get to the
front of the room. “Oh my….” He
said once he finally made it. On the floor of the gate room, Sam Carter and
Janet Fraiser were currently
rolling around the floor, pulling at each others hair, scratching each
other, ripping off bits of each others
clothing and just generally having a girly bitch fight. Beside Jack, an
Airman began crying happily.
“It’s just like I always dreamt.” He said through his tears. Daniel finally
made it to Jack’s side,
“Oh my god. Shouldn’t we try and stop them?” He asked.
“In a minute, maybe.” Jack said. The men were beginning to chant now. Half
“Carter, Carter, Carter etc” The other half,
“Doc, doc, doc, doc etc.” Jack joined in with the Carter chants, and Daniel
without realising joined in with
the Doc chants. The two women were still rolling around the floor, either
not noticing or not caring about
“I have an idea.” Jack heard
in the gate room were set off,
soaking both women. The chanting grew louder and louder and louder until-
Jack sat up with a start. Dammit, he’d been having one of those dreams